


525,600 Minutes

by neko_kirin3104



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 08:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_kirin3104/pseuds/neko_kirin3104
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are five stages of grief. Sho Sakurai’s stuck at denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	525,600 Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the emotional hangover from watching [Glee s05e03](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngxbwLYC1bw). Title taken from the song _Seasons of Love_. -.-

_There are 1440 minutes in a day._

_1440 ways I never saw your heart break._

_Not once. Not even a little..._

 

 

“Satoshi-kun, ohayou...”

 

 

_24 hours complete a day. 7 days make a week._

_Each minute feels like a lifetime with every second stretching out beyond eternity._

_And an eternity is too long, much too long, to still be holding yourself in..._

 

 

“Satoshi-kun, I’m home...”

 

 

_Four weeks in a month, three months in a season, and I have yet to see you live for just yourself..._

 

“Satoshi-kun, did you see what Aiba-chan did today? That was seriously hilarious! I do worry about his pollen allergy, though. And Nino’s being difficult again and refuses to take my advice about sleeping properly. And have you seen Jun-kun lately? I should really take that guy out for a proper meal soon, and maybe talk some sense into him while I’m at it. I doubt he’ll listen, though. They don’t listen to me anymore, Satoshi-kun...”

 

 

_No, Sho-chan. You’re wrong._

_I see them, and I see you._

_And you’re the one who’s not listening._

_You’re the only one who hasn’t yet looked the truth in the eye, let it sink in and just grip at your heart until you understand that things will never be the same again._

_No matter how hard you try to run, or hide, or pretend otherwise..._

 

 

“This is Satoshi-kun’s kind of music, you know...”

“Sho-kun...”

“He really likes this type of food, too...”

“Sho...”

“I’m sure he’ll love this place, Jun-kun. You should take him here some time—”

“Dammit, Sho-kun! Can you please just stop doing this?!”

“Doing what?”

“Acting like Leader’s still here!”

“He _is_ still here!”

“Sho-ku—”

“I don’t wanna hear about it. Just. Shut. Up.”

 

 

_Two months into the new season, almost a hundred thousand new minutes spent thinking you can keep it all in for as long as you need to until everything falls back into place._

_But, Sho-chan... You don’t always have to try so hard..._

 

 

“Hello?”

“Jun-kun, can you come over?”

“Sho-kun, sure. What’s going on?”

“I—I—There’s—He’s—”

“Sho-kun...”

“I was... I was looking through our drawers for something, you see... and I... I saw... He left me something... And I... I can’t—”

“I’m on my way.”

 

 

_Let go..._

_Let go..._

_Sho-chan, just let go..._

 

 

“Sho... What’s this?”

“His last art piece. It was at the bottom of our drawer.”

“When did he—”

“The day before it happened. It’s like, he knew, Jun! Somehow he knew! That’s why he did _that_! That’s why he drew me like that! I wasn’t even crying on that day!”

“Sho-kun, calm down—”

“It’s today, right? I do remember. I have never stopped remembering.”

“I know.”

“When I got the call, and I went to see him, and he held my hand and tried to open his eyes to look at me... I can still remember it. All of it.”

“I know.”

“I _begged_ him not to go. That the doctors will fix him up, if he can just hold on for a little while longer. But he didn’t listen to me! He let go, and he didn’t listen to me! Nobody ever listens to me anymore!”

“Sho-kun...”

“And you know what the worst part of it was?! What that heartless man said to me?! He said, _‘It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry, Sho-chan.’_ He fucking said it over and over like he thought I was dumb! Like he’s not written it enough on that paper!”

“Sho...”

“But you know what the funny thing is? Those aren’t the words that are making me cry now...”

 

 

_There are 1440 minutes in a day, each second stretching into a lifetime..._

_525,600 minutes in a year may well go beyond eternity..._

_And an eternity is much too long to still be running away from the truth._

_I’m gone, Sho-chan, though I’ve never really left your side._

_But things can never be the same again, and you need to accept that._

_Give yourself pause to grieve and fall apart._

_And then let the promise I left on that paper help you pull through—_

_It’s okay to cry today, Sho-chan..._

_Tomorrow, you can pick yourself up and allow your heart to remember and smile and laugh over all the good memories that we shared, because this is the only way I want you to think of me._

_I love you, Sho-chan. Don’t you ever forget..._

#

**Author's Note:**

> written for [je-prompts](http://je-prompts.livejournal.com) for the prompt _Season_.


End file.
